


ten minutes until midnight

by megidolaon



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Angst, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Suicide Ideation, Spoilers, takes place december 31st
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 01:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20381788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megidolaon/pseuds/megidolaon
Summary: Ryoji exhaled pointedly. “You’re really not giving up, are you?” Minato shook his head.“It’s going to take more than The Fall to take me away from you.”





	ten minutes until midnight

**Author's Note:**

> i have accidentally fallen into a persona 3 shaped hole. please take this.

He didn’t want to kill Ryoji.

Not like this. Not ever. There was absolutely no way in Hell, or Heaven, or whatever afterlife there was, that he was going to kill Ryoji. As soon as the words fell from the other boy’s mouth that short while ago, Minato felt his brain short circuit. He couldn’t tell if he had kept speaking after that because every noise in the room fell on deaf ears. The gears in his brain turned, and they turned and turned until he could start to make sense of it all. Kill his best friend (slash crush slash definitely-not-crush because he didn’t think he had time for love and romance and horribly flirtatious incarnations of death, until he realised he did) and die unaware of The Fall, or live the next month living in fear of the world’s inevitable doom.

Minato felt like he could have laughed to himself at how utterly bizarre the situation was. But he didn’t. He just stayed silent. Here he was, on the last day of the year, lying alone on his bed, pondering over whether or not he should end the life of one of the people he was closest to. But he wasn’t pondering it at all, it was never even a question to begin with. Only straight up refusal. Even if he wanted to live the next month without the shadow of the world’s collapse looming over his shoulder wherever he went, there was no way that he would be able to find it in himself to do such a thing. What would he do, shoot Ryoji? Maybe stab him through the chest with his sword so he could feel a pain in his heart at Minato’s hands, just like he himself was experiencing because of the other?

It was that line of thought that caused him to tut to himself, sitting up. He wished that this would all just stop. He wished he could stay with S.E.E.S. forever, as a group of close friends — no, a family. He wished he could continue to live without the impending fear of losing those he cared for, those he loved. He wished… he wished he could be with Ryoji. Ryoji Mochizuki. Not Death, not something that came from Nyx, not something fated to destroy him. He _ wanted _ to be with Ryoji. If only fate wasn’t so cruel.

He considered drowning the sounds of his thoughts with music. His headphones were slung around his neck as always, it wouldn’t be hard for him to slip them on and almost deafen himself in an attempt to seek catharsis. And it certainly wouldn’t be the first time he had done it. By now, he was used to nights (and nights after nights after nights) sat in his room with nothing but him and his music, wishing he would sink into his mattress as it swallowed him whole. No such thing ever happened, unfortunately. He reached a lone hand up to fiddle with the device hanging from his neck over his chest, idle fingers twirling it around and tapping a somewhat familiar beat unconsciously. He hummed to himself. It wouldn’t have been a bad idea any other time, but tonight he already had enough on his mind. He couldn’t risk slipping too deep into lyrics and melodies on a night like this. He was already on the verge of breaking. 

For some immediate relief, he could always wander downstairs and see his friends. Maybe not saying much, just listening to whatever they had to say. Yet the memories of being shoved against a cabinet as Junpei barked in his face and watching his friends break down in front of him seemed less than ideal. So maybe Minato wouldn’t do that. He didn’t feel like his legs would carry him that far anyway. He was so jittery with nerves that maybe he would just collapse unceremoniously and fall down step by step, leaving S.E.E.S. to find him in a heap at the bottom of the staircase. _ Well, it would make a pretty grand entrance. _

He shifted his position and stood up, nonetheless, but didn’t go far. There he was, standing in front of his bed with no intention like some kind of idiot. It didn’t seem far off from the truth. His gaze wandered to the light seeping through his windows, illuminating his room in a vivid shade of blue. It was unnatural, but felt almost comforting in comparison to the eerie green he had been used to for so long now, a threat to his life and his love and everything he had ever known in the form of a cold hue. Slowly, he took a step, and another one, until he stood at his window. 

Minato was used to thinking that the moon looked so small when it wasn’t the Dark Hour. As he looked up at it, his mind plagued him with visions of it hanging in the sky, almost to the point where seeing it in its true form seemed unreal. _ Was this even its true form? _He frowned to himself. Its presence felt like a threat. He could go without those memories, memories of seeing it haunting the sky every night of his life. They could all disappear so easily, if only he had the courage. That is, if killing the person you were closed to could be called having courage. 

He looked down, now concentrating on the floorboards underneath him. Sometimes he wished he could fall through them. Especially at times like these, when he was conscious of how his palms were tainted from holding hands with death and he could feel an unexplainable guilt crawling up his spine. Part of him wished he could take back all of the time he had spent with Ryoji. Part of him wished for nothing more than to forget everything else _ apart _ from the time he had spent with Ryoji. He sighed. He didn’t want to have to deal with this.

His destructive thoughts were interrupted by a single, unexpected word that sent his train of thought not only crashing back down to Earth, but going through its core and falling off the other side.

“Hey.” 

_ Speak of the devil, _Minato thought to himself. It was a blessing and a curse, wrapped up delicately in the body of one Ryoji Mochizuki, who awaited him patiently on his bed. He turned around to face him, offering him a glance that could only be described as pathetic, and upturned lips forced through sadness. “Long time no see.” 

Ryoji let out a gentle laugh at that, and it was music to Minato’s ears, music that he would voluntarily deafen himself with for nights on end. “Yeah, I guess.” His voice was soft, welcoming, everything that death shouldn’t have been. Hearing him speak made the shorter boy feel like a fire was lit inside of him. He didn’t know when he started feeling like this, whether it was after Ryoji joined him for his shifts at Chagall Cafe, or when he dragged him around Gekkoukan by the hand and helped him get money, or during their class trip, but he knew that nothing would be able to change the sheer joy that he instilled in him. 

Minato found his legs now devoid of any shakiness or unease, and they were moving by their own will to bring him to sit next to Ryoji. Not too close, though. Never too close. They both sat with their hands in the laps, looking straight ahead and very notably _ not at each other _. The room was silent for a moment, until a voice spoke up.

“Brings back memories.” Ryoji sighed, in a way that made Minato unable to tell if he was lamenting or just nostalgic. “We used to sit here and talk like this all the time.”

A small smile graced Minato’s face. “Yeah, we did.” He didn’t know why his own voice was unnaturally quiet. It wouldn’t have been unexpected to think that the other may not have heard him, yet he didn’t find himself doubting the sentiment. Of course, the response was instant.

“Well, I didn’t look like this back then, and I went by a different name.” Minato remembered conversations with Pharos, seeing him appear at the end of his bed and warping around his room with a seemingly omnipresent aura. It always felt odd, seeing such a strange child materialising from nowhere and engaging in conversation with him. It was odd, yet comforting. Ryoji had always been comforting.

“You’re still the same,” replied Minato, “to me, at least.”

A moment’s pause came before a response. Ryoji sighed and let his eyes drift closed. “Am I?” 

They sat quietly for a while after that, still not looking at each other, still holding their hands in their laps, afraid to speak up. Minato went through a list in his mind of possible things he could say, but he didn’t want to end up saying something to hurt the other. He figured maybe it was best to say nothing and let the other steer the conversation. Maybe Ryoji could sense that. So that’s what he did.

He lifted his head as he spoke. “Pretty soon, it will be midnight.” Minato felt a pang in his chest. “Once it’s past that time, I’ll lose this physical form and turn into an entity intangible to everyone.” In his head, the silent boy begged him to shut up. If Ryoji could sense that too, he didn’t listen. “That’s why this is the only chance for you to make the final decision. Kill me and relinquish your memories of the Dark Hour,” and that’s when he hesitated.

Slowly, he turned towards Minato. He could see the movement in his peripheral vision, but he didn’t dare to make a move. 

“Or else cower in fear as you await your death.”

It was strange for Ryoji to talk to him like this. He felt different, intimidating. He was never this straightforward. It felt like he was dripping with some sort of new bravado tonight, and Minato wasn’t sure how to feel about before he realised that tears were welling up behind his eyes. He frowned and willed them away, but he felt his lip tremble and prayed that Ryoji didn’t notice. He sat in silence as the other stared him down, feeling utterly powerless. 

“Now, make your choice, Minato.”

He screwed his eyes shut and let out a breath he was unaware of holding in. “I…” He turned around and let himself meet Ryoji’s intense stare, dead in the eyes. His heart was beating so hard he felt as if it could have burst free from his chest, straight into the other’s hands. Just thinking about it made him feel sick. “I’m not going to kill you, Ryoji.” 

Upon hearing this, Ryoji’s mouth fell agape and his eyes widened. He stood up in what Minato assumed to be shock, and turned to face him. “Minato, you still have a little time. Make the right choice.” He held his hands out in exasperation as the blue-haired boy looked up to see his face. He seemed angry, voice loud and full of desperation. It didn’t make either of them feel good.

“You saw what I’ve become, didn’t you?” As Ryoji spoke, he was surrounded by a brilliant light that left Minato staring at his figure. As it rose up and surrounded him, he lost his physical form and _ oh _, there was now a shadow floating in the middle of his room, empty eyes carving their path straight through his skull. A thin smoke billowed from underneath it, sword held in what was presumably an iron grip in its hand. It probably had the capability to kill Minato where he sat with one slow swing. He almost revelled in the thought.

“I’m not human,” echoed a familiar yet hauntingly different voice through the room, “my only purpose for existing is to bring death to this world.”

“Ryoji.” Minato whispered the name almost like a plea, eyebrows furrowed together in some kind of foreign emotion. He found it almost comical, how he still referred to the shadow in front of him as Ryoji. He addressed it as if it were still human, a friend, a normal person. Nothing more and nothing less. It didn’t help the two of them in the slightest.

“This is your last chance, forged out of the bond you and I shared. Please think it over carefully, Minato. I’m begging you.”

_ The bond you and I shared. _ It was stupid, really. Minato had to stifle a laugh. The bond they shared, as if it were just something that could be considered so casually, not something that Minato had welcomed after Ryoji managed to break down all of his walls and worm his way into his heart. At this point, he meant the world to him. How could Ryoji even consider Minato killing him, let alone _ begging _ him for it? He just couldn’t understand. 

The blue-haired boy rose from his bed and took a few shaky steps to stand in front of the shadow currently haunting his room. It towered over him and frankly, he should have felt even the smallest bit scared to be face to face with death itself. He was not scared at all. His hands shook as he opened his mouth and spoke to it. To him. To Ryoji.

“I’ve already thought it over.” The sentence was projected as loudly as he could muster, trying his absolute hardest to prevent his voice from wavering. He thought of his bond with Ryoji, his bond with those who were together several floors below him, the time he had spent with them. He couldn’t help it when a smile spread across his face, almost pitifully. “I want to live some more.” It felt like a lie. Maybe it was. He thought of Nyx, The Fall, the figure in front of him warning him of his death. Then he thought of the others. Yukari, Mitsuru and Akihiko. Fuuka. Ken and Koromaru. Shinjiro. Aigis. “I don’t want this world to come to an end, no matter how impossible that may be!” 

It was almost a shout. He stood in silence after that, staring right through what may or may not have been able to be classified as Ryoji. His own words bounced around his brain, and it was only then that he noticed how badly his hands were shaking.

“I see.” 

Minato bit his lip.

“So that’s your choice, then?” 

His fingernails dug into his palms.

“...Yeah.”

Another blinding light, and then Ryoji was standing in front of him again. _ Real Ryoji_, Minato wanted to think, as if the shadow that stood before him previously was any less Ryoji than the one he was seeing now. The black-haired figure in front of him tilted his head to one side and placed a hand on his hip, sighing with a raised eyebrow.

“You sure are stubborn, Minato.” He offered a weak smile.

Minato just stood there for a moment. Looking at Ryoji, looking at _ his _Ryoji and allowing every part of him to be burned into his memory. After what felt like ten seconds, but easily could have been an eternity, he laughed lightly. “You think so?”

Suddenly, Ryoji’s smile became genuine. “I do think so.” He took a step closer to Minato and reached an arm out hesitantly between them. The other looked down at the outstretched limb, then back up to meet the other’s gaze. Upon hearing or seeing no retaliations, Ryoji stepped closer and closed his fingers gently around Minato’s wrist.

“This is exactly what I mean,” he brought Minato’s hand up between them and clasped it between his own two hands, “you’re not even giving me a yes or no.” 

Minato was frozen still, vision fixed straight ahead, his own flesh scalding hot against where he could feel Ryoji’s palms enclosed against his hand. Slowly, he reached up and allowed his free hand to connect with one of Ryoji’s, fingers sliding over soft knuckles. He didn’t say anything in response, just allowed them to stand together. Hands held between their chests, two bodies closer together than they should have been. He could have sworn he felt the other boy shuffle forward slightly. 

He felt Ryoji’s grip on his hand loosen and couldn’t help but be ashamed of the way his heart sank at the loss of contact. Then he felt cold fingers slip between his own, and their hands were moved down lower between them. 

“Minato.” The name came out in a single breath, and it almost hypnotised him. 

“Ryoji.” The response came with equal fervor as Minato looked up at Ryoji, who was already staring down at him. 

“I don’t want you to do this,” he murmured, running his thumb over Minato’s hand, “you’ll be the reason you get yourself killed.” Fear was audible in his voice for the first time, and it struck a chord somewhere deep within the shorter boy. 

“Maybe,” Minato mumbled, “but that’s better than losing you.”

Ryoji frowned. He broke the hold on one hand, only to reach his own up and brush a few strands of blue away from the other’s eye, missing a stray tear that slipped down his face. “You’re so kind, Minato. It’s only going to hurt you.” 

“Maybe.” He repeated. “Maybe it already has.” Neither of their voices were barely louder than a whisper at this point. Minato averted his gaze, only to be met with a chill running through his face as Ryoji cupped his cheek.

“Look at me.” He spoke softly, with genuine care. With meaning and affection behind his words.

So he looked at him. They didn’t say anything for a while. They stood, trapped in time, one pair of hands with fingers intertwined by their hips. Minato felt movement trailing down his cheek, until it stopped and he felt a gentle push from under his chin, tilting his face up slightly.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Ryoji’s voice felt like silk against his skin and it made him feel like he was falling. He breathed out, and Minato could feel it on his face. It was too much for him. “I never did, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry we have to be like this.” 

And then Minato broke. He wrenched his hand out of Ryoji’s and lurched forwards, straight into his chest and wrapping his arms around him. The initial sob was muffled by his face being pressed into Ryoji’s shirt, but he couldn’t stop himself from crying as he held onto the other for what little life he was holding inside of him. Ryoji wasn’t expecting that to happen, definitely not _ that_, and he stood awkwardly for a moment, trying to figure out what he could possibly do to not fuck this situation up more.

The chin that came to rest atop Minato’s head was unexpected yet comforting, as were the arms that returned his embrace. It took a moment for the realisation of the actions to settle in; Ryoji was holding him tight and rubbing his back with feather-light touches, each one extinguishing the flames that lit up his nerves. He was coaxing Minato’s cries out of him, until all of his fears about isolation and loneliness and loss melted away from his body and were left in a puddle on the floor. 

“Please—“ Minato hiccupped, pulling away slightly to look up at Ryoji, silently admiring how beautiful he looked in the cerulean light of his room, wishing he could look at him like this forever. “Please, don’t leave.” He was being uncharacteristically vulnerable, which only made Ryoji’s feelings of guilt and sadness deepen. 

“I don’t want to leave you. If I had the choice, I would stay by your side forever.” Ryoji lamented, running his fingers through midnight blue hair and over the scalp underneath. Minato sniffled and hugged him tighter, which neither of them thought was possible.

“I… I don’t want to let you go.” Minato made the split-second decision that what he had just said was both too embarrassing and too upsetting, so he opted to bury his face in Ryoji’s face once again. Fingers continued running through his hair, dancing down his head until they stood idly at the back of his neck. 

Minato shifted slightly so only his tear-stained cheek was resting against Ryoji, head turned to face the windows of his room while the other’s gaze was stuck on him. They stood still, just holding onto each other. Everything they wanted to say or needed to say or thought about saying was lost in the moment. Maybe years of living inside Minato’s head allowed Ryoji to understand him better than he understood himself, because he reached up to tilt the other boy’s head to face him, then bent down a little to press their foreheads together. “It’s okay. You can tell me what you want to say.” Minato felt each spoken syllable dance along his lips in what could have been (and probably was) an open invitation, yet he still felt his words die in his throat.

Unable to do anything else, Minato lifted his arm and rubbed the back of his pointer finger against Ryoji’s cheek, which caused him to close his eyes in pleasure and lean into the touch. He began to hum a tune, one that Minato immediately recognised as a song they had listened to when he had shared his headphones with Ryoji and they looked up at the night sky together. The memory brought a smile to his face and lit up a spark in his chest. He wanted to make more memories like that, just the two of them spending nights together. Minato brought his finger to a halt on Ryoji’s cheek and blinked a few times to keep his tears at bay. This caused the black-haired boy to open his eyes and pout in protest.

Minato couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at his expression, feeling the spark in his chest catch alight. Ryoji smiled at his laughter, catching the fondness in the other’s eyes when the room fell into silence again. The sound of Minato’s laugh was something he could listen to forever, while the sight of him alone filled him with so much unexplainable emotion that caused him to move without thinking of the consequences. 

So, Ryoji took Minato by the back of the neck and pressed their lips together. His eyes fluttered shut once again, while Minato’s flew wide open. It was only a second before the taller withdrew, taking in the other’s reaction. He stood still, clearly in shock, mouth hanging open slightly.

Ryoji lit up, feeling like he was burning from the inside out, afraid he had just ruined what little of their relationship that they had left. “Oh, Minato, I—“ he began to stammer out, before being interrupted by Minato throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him back in for a second kiss. He made a noise of surprise but eagerly returned the action, hands scrambling to find Minato’s waist and pull the boy flush against him. The kiss was chaste - it was nothing too much, nothing special, yet both boys felt the world around them melting away in the process. Minato attempted to pull away, only for Ryoji to immediately dive back in and press a quick kiss to his lips, then his nose, then his forehead and cheek and his lips again, moving carefully against him until Minato had to gently slap his face to get him to stop, albeit with a massive grin on his face.

“Ryoji…” he breathed, still being held tight by the other. He laid his head against Ryoji’s chest, able to hear the rapid thump of his heartbeat that made him seem almost completely human. _ Almost. _

“You make me feel so good, like I’m really alive. Minato, I…” The tone was fragile, odd coming from Ryoji, voice wavering so much it sounded like it was about to shatter completely. “I think I love you.”

Minato’s breath hitched for a moment, his entire body stilling. He was frozen in place, left to admire Ryoji’s nervous expression before he straightened his posture and offered Ryoji a soft smile.

“I think I love you too, Ryoji.” He leant forwards and pressed a short kiss to the corner of the other’s mouth, taking his hand and leading him over to his bed. He sat down, and Ryoji shortly followed suit, fingers laced between Minato’s. 

Before Ryoji could even think, he found his words forcing themselves out from his mouth. “I’m sorry things had to turn out like this.” It was spoken quickly and quietly, so much so that Minato almost didn’t hear him. “I wish I could stay with you, I really do, but—“

“It’s okay.” Minato replied, punctuated with a soft sigh. He let his head drop to the side, finding itself at home on Ryoji’s shoulder. The latter could have blushed at the action. “It’s almost time for you to go, isn’t it?” 

Ryoji didn’t reply, just turned to look at Minato where his head rested. He placed a kiss to the top of his head, causing him to close his eyes and hum contentedly at the action. 

“I’ll miss you.” Ryoji’s sentence was one that was filled with regret. Dissatisfaction. Longing. Longing for something more, something better, something happier for them both. 

Minato opened one eye and decided to wrap his arms around Ryoji’s waist. “You’ll see me soon enough,” he murmured into his shoulder, “I promise.”

Ryoji exhaled pointedly. “You’re really not giving up, are you?” Minato shook his head to the best of his ability from his position.

“It’s going to take more than The Fall to take me away from you.” He propped himself up by the chin on Ryoji’s shoulder, looking at him with a slight smirk. Both of them were teary eyed, but they didn’t dare mention it. 

All of a sudden, Ryoji shifted his weight to the side to push himself and Minato over, resulting in them lying together on the bed. The taller adjusted his position so he could face Minato, pressing their noses together.

“There’s still ten minutes until midnight, you know…” Ryoji trailed off, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Minato laughed a genuine laugh, one that lit up his face, one that made stars visible in his eyes, one that felt like warm rays of sunshine. “You really are still my Ryoji, huh?” 

“_Your _ Ryoji?” 

Minato nodded once, not dignifying him with a proper response. The gesture was simple yet comforting.

“Well, I guess you’re my Minato.” The two gazed longingly at each other, hands still clasped firmly together. Ryoji brought them up to his face, pressing his lips gently against Minato’s knuckles.

“So, my dearest, let’s have the best ten minutes of our lives.” Ryoji proclaimed, the nickname causing Minato to break out into a blush. 

There were no thoughts of the future. No thoughts of what would happen next month, next year, nothing. No thoughts about the world around them, where they were. Those thoughts were stuffed into the attic of their minds. They couldn’t be avoided, but could be put away temporarily. As far as they were concerned, it was just Minato and Ryoji for the next ten minutes, with wandering hands and gentle fingers and lips moving softly together, small sounds of satisfaction and silent confessions. That’s all they hoped for. All they _ could _ hope for. 

Minato’s face softened. “Yeah, okay.”

They both leant in.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you’d like to get in touch my twitter is @bravebiade <3


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